“I’ve decided that old cats are like some old people: incredibly demanding of attention. This is not a criticism. I’m an old woman, incredibly demanding of attention, so I know one when I see one.”
I Kid You Not is a follow-up to bestselling author Lesley Crewe’s first hit column-and-essay collection Are You Kidding Me?!Here Lesley is hilarious and insightful as ever, giving us her take on everything from hockey to wildlife to the ache of missing ourancestors in ninety essays.
She shares details of her proposal for the Mere Mortal Awards (Best Director goes to the “poor, long-suffering volunteer who organizes the parking lot at the Legion during the annual country fair”), whether she’s used the pandemic as an opportunity to write more (“Piss off and leave me alone. I have a family-sized bag of M&M’s to finish”), and what it’s like to live with anxiety (“I’d much rather say I have the collywobbles or jim-jams.”)
Threaded throughout the book is the thrum of delight and deep love Lesley feels at becoming a grandmother to “baby blueberry” in early 2020.Lesley’s columns have brought joy to readers for decades. I Kid You Not! will ensure that joy sustains for decades to come.
This just happened. I got a call from a hardware store.
“Hi. Just to tell you that your sledgehammer arrived.”
“Err…”I hold the phone to my chest. “John? Did you order a sledgehammer?”
“Yes.”I put the phone back to my ear. “Fine. Thank you dear,” I say to the young voice and hang up.
If you never hear from me again, please give this information to the police.